


Promise

by Popples123



Category: All Time Low
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Jalex - Freeform, Jalex Oneshot, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 21:22:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3993346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Popples123/pseuds/Popples123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't know what to put as a summary, I literally sat here for fifteen minutes trying to think of one but I've given up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promise

**Author's Note:**

> This is written in Alex's point of view and it mainly focuses on his flashbacks (which are written in italics), so you'd probably need to read the whole thing for it to make sense, I guess

Normally I hate getting up at eight in the morning but today is an exception because I'm going back to Baltimore, my hometown. My family and I moved to Columbia seven years ago when I was seventeen, and although my mother always told me the reason we moved was because my dad had been offered a better job, I knew she was lying. My dad had been offered higher-paid jobs tons of time in cities closer to Baltimore but he had turned them down every time.

The real reason they moved was because of Jack Barakat.

-

_"I'm gonna marry you one day."_

_"Jack, baby, we're sixteen," I laughed at how straightforward my boyfriend was. If he had something on his mind, he'd usually say it no matter what it was._

_Jack whined in protest, trailing gentle kisses down my neck whilst I tried to be quiet because our parents were in the next room. The last thing I needed was them hearing me moan. They didn't know about Jack and I's relationship and I wanted to keep it that way. Jack, however, had other plans._

_"We should come out." I wasn't kidding when I said he was straightforward._

_I sat up from my position between Jack's legs on the sofa but he pulled me back so I was resting against his chest again._

_"Jack, you known how I feel about that!" I folded my arms across my chest and sighed heavily, trying to hint that I didn't like it when he brought this up. I wasn't sure why, but the idea of coming out to our parents made me feel uncomfortable._

_"C'mon love, they're going to find out eventually. Please?" I could tell Jack was desperate so I gave in. After all, he'd been wanting to do this since we were fourteen but he never did because I wasn't ready._

_Letting out a sigh of defeat, I mumbled, "fine."_

_"Yay! C'mon then!" Jack sounded so pleased that I had finally allowed him to do this and I couldn't hold back my smile. Jack pushed me off him and I turned around, taking his hand in mine and helping him get off the sofa. "I love you," he breathed into my ear. "You sure about this?"_

_"I love you too, and yes I'm sure," I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. "Promise me it'll be alright?"_

_"Yeah, I promise. I mean, what's the worse that could happen?" He held my hand and led me towards the door that led into the kitchen._

_-_

Seeing as the trip will last for hours, I get my dark-blue backpack and fill it with things I'll need for both the journey to Baltimore and once I get there. I recklessly toss in some water bottles, a change of clothes in case I need to stay the night, my black sweater and a charger for my mobile as it doesn't have a great battery life. I'd like to get a better one but I can barely afford to keep my apartment, nevermind a new phone.

I didn't do that well in school and I have a shitty job at a cafe in the heart of the city. All I really do is take people's orders and I'll admit, it's boring and I don't enjoy it much, but at least I get paid.

Listening to music will keep me occupied on the train ride, so I rumage around my drawers, searching for my headphones. Instead, I find a photograph of me and my boyfriend. We were sixteen when it was taken and it's one of the very few photos I have of us. Staring at the photo brings back memories of the night it was taken.

-

_Me, Jack and our two friends Zack Merrick and Rian Dawson were outside the local club. All of us were far too young to get in and it was only midnight, so none of us wanted to go home just yet._

_At some point, Zack had suggested taking photographs of us being stupid. Desperate for amusement, I agreed, so Zack whipped out his camera and began taking pictures of Rian pulling very funny faces, Jack shooting rude gestures at the camera and me pulling random poses._

_"We should take one of Jack and Alex kissing!" Rian yelled and Zack nodded enthusiastically. I giggled nervously, as me and Jack had only told them about our relationships a few months before. Both Zack and Rian were really accepting of us but I still felt embarrassed doing coupley things with Jack when they were in our presence._

_"Yeah!" Jack seemed happy with the idea so I went along with it. "Drink, m'love?" Despite being denied entry to the club, Jack still wanted to drink. He wasn't completely drunk but he wasn't sober either. Somewhere in between, I'd say._

_"No thanks baby. My mom would kill me," I turned down the offer, quickly pecking his lips._

_Zack took the drink that was originally for me whilst pointing his camera at Jack and I, resulting in his drink spilling everywhere. Rian almost pissed himself from laughing which was extremely distracting for me and Jack. He kept trying to kiss me but he'd start laughing before our lips got the chance to touch._

_"Stop laughing! I can't concentrate when he's laughing! Zack! Tell Rian to stop laughing!" Jack shouted over the music blaring from the club._

_Rian apologised, managing to calm himself down. Jack and I leaned in but right as our lips were about to touch, it started to rain heavily. Zack swore loudly, tucking his camera under his jacket when he realized it was getting wet and saying a quick goodbye before he took off, running to where his car was parked, followed by Rian who hated rain with a passion. Jack and I stayed where we were, telling Rian we didn't want to leave just now._

_The fact we were soaked to the skin didn't faze us as we passionately made out in the rain, rocking our hips to the beat of the music playing faintly in the background. It was like the kind of love teenage girls dream about; dancing (terribly) under the rain and kissing each other breathless._

_Zack didn't get any photos of us kissing, although he did get one of Jack bent over, clutching his stomach mid-laughter and me beside him with a huge smile on my face, gazing at him lovingly._

_-_

It's one of my favourite photographs of us, so I shove it into my pocket, careful not to damage it. I feel my stomach grumble so I sling my backpack over my shoulder and walk into the kitchen, hoping I have time to eat. The clock hanging on the wall shows its half past eight in the morning and since the train doesn't arrive until quarter to ten, I can make breakfast before I leave. Thank fuck.

I rumage around the cupboard on a quest for cereal and eventually find a box of cornflakes, which I didn't even know I owned. Opening my refrigerator door a little too forcefully, I take out a carton of milk and make a mental note to myself for me to fix the light soon, unsure about how I'll actually do that.

As I sit alone at the dining table meant for two, I'm reminded of the time me and Jack spilled milk everywhere and blamed it on my dog, and then realizing I didn't  _have_ a dog.

-

_"Cereal!" Jack dragged out the 'a' when I took a box of cheerios from my cabinet above the counter. I smiled at his childishness and told him to get the milk. "But Alex!" He whined, wrapping his arms around me, kissing my neck and mumbling a string of sweet nothings into my ear as if it was going to make me change my mind._

_"Jack, milk," I said sternly, wriggling out of his tight grip and standing on my tiptoes, trying to reach the top shelf of the cabinet where all the bowls and plates were kept._

_"Awh, is Alex not tall enough?" Jack spoke as if he was teasing a puppy and laughed when I sighed with defeat, stepping back and allowing him to get the bowls. "You get the milk."_

_Hissing the words, "I hate you," under my breath, I opened the fridge and lifted the milk from it, placing it on the counter beside me._

_It was great having a tall boyfriend who could get things I couldn't access because of my height, who would hold me tight and spin me around, giving me loving kisses as he tried not to fall, and who'd simply take care of me._

_Jack effortlessly took the bowls from the shelf, setting them down on the counter with a clang. "Don't smash them!"_

_"I won't. Damn, Lex, you're so fucking bossy!" He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me slowly, full of love and passion and leaving me to wonder how I was so lucky to call him mine. Jack pressed me against the counter and deepened the kiss as he moaned loudly, both of us hoping my parents didn't hear._

_We got carried away with the kiss and honestly, he probably would have ended up making love to me on the kitchen floor if he didn't knock the carton of milk off the counter when he tried to remove my shirt._

_"Alex?" I heard my mom call. "What was that?"_

_The milk had spilt everywhere and there was no way we'd be able to clean it up in time because I could hear my mom's footsteps coming closer and closer. "Fuck."_

_Jack must have sensed the panic I was feeling because he kissed my forehead softly and murmured, "It'll be okay."_

_"Promise me?" I knew Jack wasn't lying but it comforted me when he'd promise something._

_"I promise."_

_My mom appeared in the doorway, her eyes flickering from me to Jack, and then to the spilt milk on the floor. "How on earth did you manage to do that?"_

_Jack thought of an excuse, finally coming up with, "It was Alex's dog."_

_I nodded in agreement and his words didn't register with me until my mom started laughing hysterically, and that was when it dawned on me that I didn't even have a dog. "Jack!"_

_Shrugging innocently, he responded, ""It was all I could think of."_

_"You're so stupid," I playfully nudged his arm, sneaking a quick kiss to each other when my mom turned her back, searching for something to clean the floor with._

_-_

Once I finish my cornflakes, I dump the empty bowl in the sink and unlock my door. Quickly checking that I've got everything and that I haven't left anything that could cause a fire switched on, I step out, locking the door behind me and walking down the four flights of stairs that lead to outside.

It's November and the weather is bitterly cold so I put on my sweater to keep me warm. It doesn't do a great job, but it's better than nothing. Jack bought me this sweater a month before we were forced apart, and I wear it almost every day.

It reminds me of him.

-

_"We should go to the mall," Jack suggested after I complained about how bored I was._

_"Why? What's so great about the mall?" The idea of walking around a busy shopping centre for hours wasn't at all appealing to me._

_"Please?" Jack gave me those puppy eyes that I couldn't resist. I swear he practised doing them._

_"Fine," I gave in and stood up, smiling slightly when he cheered happily._

_Jack couldn't drive to save his life but I let him because I was sleepy and couldn't be bothered. Jack driving was the funniest thing ever. He drove past the speed limit despite my various protests, he ran red lights although he knew fine well that there was cameras, and he had really bad road rage which was hilarious to watch. At one point, we got stuck behind a car driving 20mph on a 50mph road, and his exact words were, "If you don't hurry the fuck up and drive like a decent human being, I'mma take my boyfriend to the mall and then I'll be taking you to the fucking morgue because I'll kill you and your slow ass car! Fucking MOVE!"_

_Once we arrived, I made a joke about how surprised I was that we actually survived and proceeded to enter the mall. Usually I hated being coupley in public but today I didn't care and held Jack's hand as we wandered around._

_"That's a nice sweater," I pointed at a fluffy blue jumper in the window of a store I can no longer remember the name of._

_I noticed Jack grin as he guided me inside the store to take a look around, eventually coming across the sweater I liked. "It's only twenty five dollar. I'll get you it."_

_"No baby," I didn't want him wasting his money on me. "I can pay for it."_

_"I know you can," he kissed my forehead and took out his wallet, "but I'm not letting you."_

_I didn't protest anymore as it was clear I wasn't going to change his mind. I followed him to the checkout with the sweater tucked under my arm whilst I tried to text my mom, letting her know where I was._

_"Promise me you're okay with buying this?" I handed the sweater to Jack, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him._

_"I promise," he licked my nose, which made me laugh and earned us a glare from the cashier as she scanned the item of clothing._

_-_

There's a young couple across the street. He's kissing her repeatedly as she cries, saying something I'm too far away to hear, but it sounds a little like  _promise me we'll be okay?_  


The boy absentmindedly fondles with her dyed-pink hair, resting his forehead against her own and saying something I'm too far away to hear, but it sounds a little like  _I promise_.

-

_"You're gay?!" I winced at my dad's tone, clutching Jack's hand for comfort and keeping my gaze focused on the ground, too nervous to look anyone in the eye._

_"Yeah, that's what he just said!" Unlike me, Jack was calm, not scared._

_"Let me get this straight," Jack's mom paused for a few seconds before continuing. "You're gay, Alex's bisexual, and you're both in a relationship?"_

_Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jack shrugging as he said, "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."_

_"Don't act smart with me!" His dad scolded him. "I didn't raise you like this!"_

_"Yes you did, I'm right here," I bit my tongue to stop myself from giggling at the amount of sass Jack was giving his parents._

_Everything was silent and then I heard something that sounded like a slap. "What the fuck dad?!" Jack screamed. He just hit Jack._

_"Don't touch him!" I defensively stood in front of Jack, wanting to protect him._

_Jack tried to pull me back but I stood firmly in my place. "Alex, love, please," he whispered into my ear but I refused to move._

_I regretted coming out now because it turned out both of our parents were homophobic and didn't want me and Jack together. I felt sick and before I knew it, I was sprinting up the stairs and throwing up into the toilet. Not expecting Jack to follow me, I was surprised when I felt him kneel down behind me and hold my bangs away from my face, rubbing my back as I emptied my stomach's contents._

_"Are you done, love?" Jack said quietly, running his hand through my hair as I nodded quickly. "Okay," he leaned over and flushed the toilet, pulling me into his arms afterwards. "I'm so sorry Alex. This is all my fault; if I listened to you and waited-."_

_Wiping my mouth clean with the sleeve of my sweater Jack bought me the month before, I kissed him so he would shut up. "It's not your fault." I rested my head against his chest, the feeling of dread building up inside me as I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. "Jack?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Promise me we'll be okay?" I whimpered, feeling helpless._

_Jack sat me against the bathtub and knelt between my legs. He rested his forehead against mine and whispered a sincere, "I promise," before the door swung open._

_-_

When our parents came into that bathroom and seperated us, I felt as if all my happiness had been completely drained from me.

Sometimes I can still hear him screaming _no, no, no!_  over and over and over, trying to escape from his dad's vice like grip on him, fighting to stay with me. When we were pulled apart, I remember sitting on the tiled floor crying and pleading to see Jack one more time after he was dragged out of my house. My dad screamed at me, calling me awful things and my mom didn't stop him, which made me even more upset than before.

Things weren't the same after that day. My parents forced me to delete Jack's phone number, email address, everything I could contact him with. The same thing happened to him.

Some days, I wonder what life would be like if I still had Jack. For starters, I wouldn't be walking to this train station right now.

I want to go to his house and see him again, even if it's just for an hour or so. I've been planning this for the past seven years but I never had the courage to do it and always chickened out, but now I'm actually going to do it, which is both nerve racking and exciting at the same time.

Will he be happy to see me? Does he still love me? What if he's with someone else? Will he even remember me?

Shivering from the icy cold air, I pick up my pace because the sooner I get to the trainstation the sooner I can get a cup of warm coffee.

There was one time, not long after I turned seventeen, that I saw Jack again. The memory makes me want to cry every time I think about it.

-

_When I was allowed to start going out on my own again without being accompanied by one or both of my parents, it was a huge relief because it wasn't fun having them around everywhere I went._

_I told them I was going to the coffee shop, which was a total lie. I was going to Jack's house instead. Blatently obvious, I know, but I didn't care._

_Although I was a stupid teenager I was smart enought to know that I couldn't knock on Jack's door because there was no way his parents would let me in, so I decided to go for the next best option. I picked up one of the many pebbles scattered in the yard, aimed for Jack's bedroom window and tossed the stone at it. We used to do this all the time when one of us wanted the other to come on a nighttime adventure._

_"Alex?" My head shot up and I saw Jack standing at his now open window. We hadn't seen each other for nearly a year and I wanted so badly for him to hold and kiss me again._

_His figure vanished and a pang of fear hit me as I began to wonder if he hated me. Just I was about to turn and walk away, I heard his front door open. I cried his name, sprinting over to him and trying to jump onto him, but he pushed me back. "I-I'm sorry."_

_"No love, it's okay. I'm just sore. Fuck, I've missed you," Jack hugged me tightly and showering me in gentle kisses._

_"What do you mean you're sore?" I frowned, breathing in his scent. He smelt of alcohol which wasn't the Jack I knew. Although he loved alcohol, he didn't drink it often. "Have you been drinking?"_

_"No, maybe, yes?" Jack's reply sounded more like a question than an answer._

_"You didn't answer my first question. Why are you sore?" My voice was muffled by his chest._

_Hesitating for a minute, he responded, "I fell down the stairs last night."_

_"You're a fucking idiot," I giggled, glancing up at him and my smile vanished when I noticed bruising all over his face and neck. "Jack...you can't get bruises that bad from falling down stairs," I was beginning to get suspicious about a number of things and then it hit me. "They're hurting you, aren't they?!" I practically screamed, and then I heard Jack's dad calling for him. The look of terror spread across Jack's features made me sick to my stomach._

_"Alex, go," Jack whispered, releasing me and pecking my lips, "please."_

_"Come with me, baby. We can run away together!" It was a dumb idea but I was willing to do anything to keep me and Jack together._

_"Don't be stupid, Alex, you know we can't do that," his voice was low and his dad's yelling was louder._

_Breathing heavily, I took a few steps back, realising I had no choice but to leave. "Jack?"_

_"Yes, love?" I wondered how he could sound so strong in a situation like this._

_"Promise me we'll see each other again?"_

_Jack leaned down and kissed me softly as if I was fragile, like I could break at any moment. "I promise."_

_With those two words ringing in my head, I turned and ran away from Jack, not wanting to witness what was bound to happen when his dad found him._

_-_

That was the last time I saw Jack.

Loud chatter amongst strangers snaps me out of my thoughts and I notice I've arrived at the train station. "Hallelujah," I utter to myself, going inside and heading over to the coffee shop to get a drink.

I sit alone, sipping on my coffee and paying attention to everyone around me, for once. A toddler clutches onto a green balloon whilst her mother argues with someone on the phone. There's a young woman with a friend, laughing hysterically. 

Over in the corner, two teenage girls are sitting. One of them is asleep, resting her head on the other's shoulder. It reminds me of Jack.

-

_"This fucking sucks!" Jack yelled when he discovered our train was delayed three hours, meaning it was going to arrrive at one o'clock in the morning._

_We were coming back from a concert and I was so exhausted I felt like passing out, so Jack allowed me to have a piggyback and I was almost asleep when he began whining about the delay._

_"Sleepy," I slurred, not fully awake, and Jack immediately apologized._

_"I'm sorry, love," I still blushed when he called me 'love'. Jack carried me over to an empty area in the station, propping my tired form against the wall and telling me he'll be back in a few minutes._

_I watched him leave before closing my eyes, blanking out all the noise, all the bright lights._

_"Love, wake up," I jolted awake at the sound of Jack's voice and my face broke into a huge smile when I saw he had a mug of warm hot chocolate. "I got you this."_

_"Thank you," I took the drink from his hands and sipped it, careful not to burn my tongue._

_Jack could only afford one so we ended up sharing, not that I minded. Jack held it as I was too tired and kept dozing off. He was worried I'd spill it and hurt myself._

_"Alex," I glanced up at him when he spoke and forced my eyes to stay open. "Go to sleep, the train isn't due for another two and a half hours."_

_With his permission, I dropped my head onto his right shoulder as he held me close. "Promise me you won't forget to take me home?" I giggled and let out a sleepy yawn._

_Letting out a small chuckle, he soothingly trailed his fingers up and down my hip whilst mumbling, "I promise."_

_-_

Hearing an announcement that my train is at platform two wakes me up from a sleep I must have unintentionally fallen into. I gulp down the rest of my lukewarm coffee, leaving the empty mug on the table, grabbing my backpack and jogging towards my designated platform. By the time I arrive, I'm out of breath and have decided that'll be my exercise for the next three years.

I lounge on a seat at the very back of the train, waiting for the ticket collector to come over so I can pay for a ticket. Resting my head against the window, I close my eyes, wanting to sleep forever. "Sir, ticket please."

I jerk awake, again, hitting my arm off the table and needing to bite my gum to stop myself from cussing. After handing the man money and recieving a ticket in return, I resume my original position with my head against the window. Even if he no longer loves me, Jack better be grateful that I managed to scrape enough money together to buy this train ride. Once again I close my eyes, wondering what will happen when I arrive at Baltimore, arrive home.

-

_"Alex sweetheart, we need to talk."_

_I slowly walked downstairs, not willing to face my parents. They had found out about Jack and I's little 'encounter' and forbidden me to ever see my boyfriend again._

_"What?" I only had three moods at this point in my life; pissed off, depressed and drunk. Right now I was very, very pissed off because my parents had taken away the only thing that truly mattered to me._

_From the look my mother and father gave me when I entered the living room, I could tell this was serious. I sat on the footrest, wondering why my mom had such a worried look plastered on her face._

_"Alex honey, you're dad has been offered a job in Columbia and it's so much better than what he has right now," my mom explained, sounding a little weary. I knew exactly where this conversation was headed and I didn't like it one bit, so I refused to believe it. "We've been looking into this for the past month or so and we've found a really nice house. It has a yard and the school is only a five minute walk away. Great, yeah?" She informed me and an overwhelming feeling of rage rushed over me._

_I stood up with fury in my eyes as I yelled, "two days?! You've been planning this for a month, a whole fucking month, and when do you tell me? Two fucking days before we leave!"_

_"Alex, stop swearing." I could see the fearful glint in my mothers eyes but I didn't care._

_"No! You took me away from the love of my fucking life and now you're going to take me away from Zack and Rian? That isn't fair!" I hadn't been this angry since the last time I saw Jack. When I came home that night I was screaming, swearing and throwing objects about. It wasn't pretty._

_"Alex, please try to understand. You can say goodbye to your friends tomorrow at school, alright?" My mom said, attempting to calm me down._

_"Jack fucking dropped out! How the fuck do I say goodbye to him?!" My voice was starting to become hoarse but that didn't stop me from shouting._

_Eventually I gave up. I stormed out the living room and ran up the stairs, too angry to think or see straight. I was surprised my door didn't fly off it's hinges with the speed I flung it open at._

_I didn't know what I was supposed to do; I just wanted to destroy something even though I'd definitely end up regretting it later on when I was more stable._

_There was a photo of me and Jack aged fifteen on my wardrobe door, kissing outside some shitty store that sold all of it's contents for nothing less than $20 and that's when it dawned on me that my parents weren't moving because of the job offer, they were moving because of me and Jack. They probably hoped that if I got a fresh start I'd soon forget about the younger boy._

_In a blind rage I tore the photo apart and dropped to my knees in front of the ripped pieces, screaming over and over, "you promised me it would be okay! You fucking promised me!"_

-

The train comes to an abrupt halt, which is a really awful way to wake up. I panic for a split second before realising what's going on. I'm here, I'm in Baltimore!

I cautiously step off the train and all the memories of my hometown come flooding back.

I know this city like a maze so I have no struggle finding Jack's home despite the fact that it's been a long, long time since I've been there.

I wonder what Jack is like as I walk through the busy streets. Does he still have his skunk hair? Does he still look like he did seven years ago? Do his eyes still hold that warm, welcoming gaze that I had come to love so, so much? Is he even alive?

_Stop right there Alex._

Pushing every single one of they thoughts out of my mind, I flag a taxi down and give Jack's address to the driver.

-

_I always got such an adrenaline rush from drinking as a teenager. The fact that it was illegal made it even more exhilarating._

  
_"There's a cab!" Jack slurred, leaning against a lamppost for support. I could see his breath in the freezing nighttime air and reminded myself to_ never _go drinking in January ever again because I'd probably end up standing in the cold for hours which would result in me becoming ill._  


_We flagged the cab down and got inside, basking in the heat. "So warm," Jack sighed contently as I helped him put the seat belt on. He was completely wasted but I didn't drink as much as him, so I was able to perform simple tasks. "I love you," he leaned forward and kissed me lovingly, making me smile against his lips._

_"I love you too," I breathed softly and pushed him back so I could give driver the directions to my house because Jack was staying with me that night._

_"You're cute," Jack slurred again and sat back, closing his eyes and sighing heavily._

_"Thanks," I blushed and watched my boyfriend sleep as the driver drove me home._

_Once we were there, Jack refused to walk when I woke him so I had to carry him into my house. I carefully lay him on my bed and whispered, "go to sleep."_

_"Fuck me," I almost choked on my spit when he said that._

_I was sure I heard him wrong, "what?"_

_"Please," he whimpered, tugging me onto the bed and kissing me roughly, pleading for me to have sex with him as he grinded his hips up to meet mine._

_As I didn't want to take advantage of Jack whilst he was drunk, I just continued making out with him and reminding him of how much I loved him until he eventually passed out._

_It was a great story to tell him the next morning._

-

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I glance around my hometown, taking in the scenery as the car pulls up at Jack's house.

_You can do this, Alex._

"Thank you," my voice cracks as I speak. I hand the driver a wad of cash and tell him to keep the change.

Controlling my breathing is really difficult but I manage to relax. I step out the cab and close the door behind me, not looking back when it drives off. I can't stop shaking as I force myself to walk to the door.

This place hasn't changed at all.

Resisting the urge to cry and turn back, I knock the door and patiently wait for someone to answer. I'm disappointed when Jack's mom answers instead of Jack himself but at least she might let me see him.

"Can I help you sir?" Joyce's voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I glance up at her nervously, hoping she'll recognize me. "Alex?" She sounds stunned.

"Where's Jack?" My voice is bitter and sharp but I don't care if I sound rude. After all the shit she put my boyfriend through, she deserves it.

Avoiding the subject, she invites me inside and asks me how I've been.

"Where is Jack?" I pause between each word, anger boiling inside me.

This time, she just sighs sadly and smiles at me sympathetically. "He ran away when he was eighteen. I haven't seen or heard from him since then. Nobody has, I'm sorry."

"You're lying! Where the fuck is he?" I scream, shoving her to the side only to come to face with her husband. "Where the fuck is Jack!" I want to punch him and maybe break his jaw but I digress, keeping my hands pressed firmly to my sides.

"Alex?" I nod and he looks slightly scared, "Jack ran away six years ago."

From the sincere tone of voice he used, I know both of them are telling the truth. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or the opposite. "Please tell me you at least know where he is?"

Joyce looks guilty as she speaks, "like I said, no. He just vanished out of thin air. We went to check on him one morning and he, his rucksack, his clothes and his favourite blanket were all gone."

"For the love of god, did you at least call the cops?" When they shake their heads no I almost swing for them. "You're telling me that Jack fucking disappears without warning, and you don't think there's a _slight_ problem with that?"

"He did threaten to run away the week before. I didn't take him seriously though; I didn't think he'd actually do it," Jack's dad explains.

"But he promised me that he would see me again! He wouldn't run away! I-he knew I was coming back!" I fight back tears, turning around, about to walk out when Joyce stops me.

She gently places her hand on my shoulder and I reluctantly face her direction. What does she want? "He actually left a note for you. Wait here," she awkwardly hobbles up the stairs and I continue to give her husband a glare of a thousand daggers whilst we wait for her return.

After a few minutes she comes back, this time with a piece of paper in her hand. "Here," she hands me an envelope which has the word _love_ written on it in Jack's messy handwriting, "can you do me a favour sweetie?"

"Don't call me sweetie," I growl and she quickly apologizes.

"Sorry. Anyway, if you ever find Jack..." she hesitates for a moment, "can you tell him we're sorry?"

If I do see Jack again I probably will but I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that. "No, you're the reason he ran away. Fuck you," I hiss through gritted teeth. Saying that makes me feel extremely awful yet so much better at the same time. Without a second thought, I turn around and exit the house, making a point to slam the door behind me as loud as possible. I take a huge deep breath as the tears start flowing from my eyes.

"Fuck," I wipe my eyes quickly and keep my head down as I begin the journey back to the train station. I'd get a cab but I don't fancy the idea of a total stranger seeing me cry so I decide against it.

After around twenty minutes , I arrive. My next train isn't due for another hour so to kill time, I read Jack's letter. Part of me doesn't want to because I know I'll cry again but I peel open the envelope anyway.

_Alex,_

_If you're reading this, it means I'm dead._

_Just kidding, I'm [hopefully] very much alive._

_I know you'll probably never get to read this, but you're the only person I want to talk to [or write to, rather] so fuck it._

_I can't take this anymore [don't worry, this isn't a suicide note]. Dad keeps hurting me and I've been hospitalized five times now because of it. Mom just watches and doesn't help, so I'm going to run away [I swear I can hear you saying 'jeez, Jack, you're not seven']. I know it's drastic but I'm running out of options here and trust me, I don't want to do this, but I honestly don't have any other choices._

_I miss you. I wish you were still here. Everything was okay when you were still here. Kissing you, hugging you, even just having you in my presence, all that felt like home. You were my home. But all that's gone now and nothing feels like home anymore [Jesus this is so embarrassing to write, but I truly mean that]._

_I'm not telling you where I'm going, partly because I don't want anybody to find out and partly because I don't even know myself, but I guess I'll just see what happens._

_Please don't dwell on me, there's no point in doing that because I'm not coming back and I'm so, so fucking sorry. Find someone that makes you happier than music does, makes you feel alive and like nothing else matters. But don't forget about me, please, because I'm not going to forget about you [unless I get brain damage but lets hope that doesn't happen]._

_I love you so much and I'm sorry I broke my promise; we're not gonna see each other again. I wish that was a lie but it's not. I miss you, and I'm so fucking sorry._

_I love you._

_P.S. Promise me something? Be strong, love._

"Yeah, I promise. Fuck," my vision is blurry from my tears and if I don't find somewhere to sit I'm going to pass out, so I sink down against the wall and put my head in my hands.

I stay like that for the full hour, eventually forcing myself to get up when I hear the announcement that the train to Columbia is at platform five.

I don't run, even though I'm probably going to be late. I don't want to go back to Columbia when my boyfriend is out on the streets somewhere, but if I stayed here I'd have no place to go.

My throat feels raw and dry so I stand to the side, facing the train as I try to pull a water bottle from my bag. It ends up being a huge struggle but I finally get one out. Once I'm hydrated enough, I stop drinking it and put the lid on before shoving the bottle back inside my bag.

I'm about to step onto the train when I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around me and harsh, heavy breathing in my ear. My whole body freezes and I think I'm about to get robbed, but then I hear a familiar voice.

"Well, I did promise we'd see each other again."

_Jack._

I spin around and his face is inches from mine, and he looks so different yet exactly the same. His hair is messy, no longer having the blonde through it, his lips are chapped, there's some dirt on his face and he definitely hasn't shaved for a good week or two but when our eyes meet, I still see the sweet, crazy teenager I fell madly in love with.

I can't bring myself to talk and I don't even know what to say, so I just crash our lips together, dropping everything I'm holding and not reacting when it scatters everywhere because _Jack is here._  


He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist, not breaking the kiss until I badly need air. I keep eye contact with him as I pant for breath and try to convince myself that this isn't a dream.

"Hey, love," he smiles widely and I snuggle into his chest, breathing in his scent. "I haven't showered for five days, sorry."

"Shut up," I giggle and hold him tight, still unable to believe this is happening. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. Are you crying?" He sounds concerned which is really adorable.

Shaking my head, I glance up to see him clearly. When he notices the tears falling down my face, he kisses me softly and everything suddenly feels okay again.

"You're gonna miss your train, love," Jack glances over at the train and tries to put me down. I cling tightly onto him, refusing to let go.

"I want to stay with you," I whine, holding him tighter than before.

"That's sweet," Jack laughs, "but I don't want you on the streets 'cause it fucking sucks. Go home, loser."

"Don't call me a loser. You're the one that's homeless," I poke him in the hip and he laughs again, playfully smacking my ass, "I'm not into spanking, you kinky bitch! Don't do that!" I never intended for that to be loud but judging by the horrified stares receive from everyone around us, it was.

Squirming out of Jack's grip is hard but I'm successful. I take his hand in mine, explaining that I'm taking him to Columbia with me. 

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I love you."

"You're so cliche," he teases.

"Says the guy who wrote a sappy love letter to me,"Jack shuts up and I feel proud of myself.

After he helps me pick my stuff up, I lead Jack onto the train and pay for his ticket, ignoring his protests. In the end, he doesn't mind at all and talks about how glad he is that he can finally hold me at night.

"Now who's the cliche one?" Although we haven't seen each other for years, it's as if we've just picked up right where we left off.

The journey to Columbia is quieter than expected but it's perfect. Jack cuddles into me, fast asleep and I can tell this is the first time in a long, long time that he's had a decent sleep like this.

Around half an hour before we're due to arrive, Jack wakes up and the first words that leave his mouth are, "this isn't a dream?"

His voice is raw and groggy, and my heart melts when he starts crying after I inform him that this is all real. "Holy shit," he seems shocked and pleased at the same time, smirking at me with glossy, bloodshot eyes.

"How was your sleep?" I ask him.

Jack sits up straight and stretches before saying, "fan-fucking-tastic."

It's starting to get dimmer outside and the city lights look stunning in the darkness, and so does Jack. "We're almost home," I smile when he nods sleepily, "baby?"

Wrapping an arm around me, he responds, "yes love?"

"Are you okay with moving in with me?" It's a stupid question but we haven't seen each other in so long and he might not be comfortable with this.

"Of course I am," he frowns at my question, running his hand through his greasy hair.

"Promise?"

Smiling, he takes both of my hands in his own, leans forward and pecks me on my lips, making me feel tummy butterflies. "I promise."

For the first time in years, I don't have to replay memories to make me smile. I don't need memories anymore because Jack's here, and this feels like home.


End file.
